Tips For Strengthening Family Communication

Maintaining a loving and supportive family environment is the best measure parents can take to prevent violence and to ensure the well-being and safety of their children. More than anything, children need to feel loved and appreciated through frequent displays of affection. Daily expressions of love create a trusting and caring parent-child relationship, strengthen children's self-esteem, and expand their ability to love and respect others. As a result, children and youth are less likely to be influenced by peer pressure or engage in negative behavior.
Communication is key to creating a loving family environment. When parents and children can express their feelings and concerns openly and honestly with each other, their respect for each other grows and the family bond is strengthened. Sometimes children need help in sorting out their strong feelings. Parents can gently encourage their children to express emotions by saying, "It looks like something is bothering you. Do you want to talk?"
Listening is perhaps the most important part of family communication. Research shows that parents have a greater impact on their children by how they listen than by what they say. Attentive listening helps children feel understood and valued and it can help identify and short-circuit conflicts before they erupt into full-blown problems.
Parents' actions always speak louder than their words. Children and youth are constantly learning from their parents how to relate to others and deal with anger, frustration, and disappointments. When children observe parents expressing anger with verbal aggression or physical attacks, children are more likely to imitate this negative behavior. But when parents model positive and nonviolent behavior and are consistent in what they say and do, children are less likely to behave in aggressive or violent ways.

Tips for Strengthening Communication

a) Show love to your children often by hugging them or saying "I love you."
b) Make time for your children every day and actively support their efforts. Praise their efforts often.

c) Give your children responsibility that is appropriate for their age or abilities.

d) Help your children set realistic goals. Encourage them to do the very best they can.

e) Accept your children's feelings.

f) Teach your children that anger is a normal and acceptable feeling. Encourage them to express anger using safe, effective, and appropriate ways such as telling another person they're angry, hitting a pillow or bed, lying on a bed with their feet in the air and kicking them back and forth while yelling "I'm angry," crying, doing an angry dance, or running.

g) Be an active listener by encouraging your children to express their feelings and thoughts, asking respectful questions to better understand their experience, and offering feedback and guidance rather than advice. Give your children nonverbal support and encouragement such as a hug, a pat on the shoulder, nodding your head, or making eye contact.

h) Help your children learn from their mistakes by asking questions such as "What can you learn from that?" or "What can you do differently next time?"